Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Little Puppy Gas

I know I should not be critical of the human since he will be doing the driving, but Jesus. Today was an excellent example of the danger I am in every moment and its not like I'm a cat with 9 lives. The nine lives part is cool, but cat – never.

So he told me we had to have my house fixed because there was a LP gas leak. Well, I totally understood the need for that after all Little Puppy gas can be deadly. I mean you ever smell Little Puppy gas? What do those little fellows eat anyway, cabbage and hard boiled eggs? OK, I said, not wanting to die in my sleep, and what a horrible way to go too.

So we get in my house and whoa! I think someone forgot to tell me my house moves. I glanced at the human and he is moving switches and trying to pretend he is doing important stuff and knows what he is doing. The secret is he doesn't have any idea what he is doing. I'm way smarter than he is and I had no idea my house even moved.

So okay, I guess I can get use to this, maybe. He made the house go backward and that was the last thing he did right. First we hold up traffic forever because he can’t get the house turned on my tiny street. So backward, forward, backward, forward, backward...hey! Want me to drive? He wasn't amused.

Anyway, he finally gets the house pointed down the street and takes off. We went no more than a run across my yard when some human lady is yelling at him to stop. He backed up into the neighbors garbage can and it was now stuck under us and being dragged down the street. He said some words I'm not allowed to repeat.

He got out and I watched him saying more of those words trying to unstuck the garbage can and than listen to this. He takes that stinky old garbage can now all banged up and sneaks back up the street with it, puts it in front of our neighbor's house and sneaks back. Oh yeah, like they won't notice their can looks a lot bent.

From there it continued. He has something called a GPS, which I think means Greyhound Puppy Service. They are suppose to tell him where to go, but all I heard was him telling them where to go. He wanted to go left, it said right. He wanted to go straight, it said left. He finally said some more of those words and turned it off. Poor Puppies, they were only trying to help.

Now we have to rely on his memory to get to this place to fix the Little Puppy Gas problem. Do I have to tell you how good a memory he as after he could not remember how to back up without killing our neighbors? Pray for me.

1 comment:

  1. Jack, you and your buddy sure had a rough day! Maybe your neighbor won’t notice someone ran over her garbage can…yeah, right, if her name is Mrs. Magoo! Tell your buddy to trade in that Greyhound Puppy Service for an actual GPS…lol! Hope you get to where you need to go and get that Little Puppy Gas problem fixed. Yeah, puppy gas can be quite the stinker!