Monday, May 9, 2011

Five Po-gator, Six Po-Gatar, Seven PoGator, More?

Perhaps it has to do with me not sharing my treats with him, but Puppies Preserve me, he brought me to another place that has even more gators than the last place. I told him I will now share my treats, he can have one, well maybe a half for every twelve I have if he knocks off with these gators.

Florence Marina is in the middle of nowhere. How these gators ever found it I have no idea. Better question is how did he find it. He is not so good finding places. You should have seen some of the towns we drove through. Some of them had less than one building.

The first morning he promised to take me for a walk and what does he do? He falls out of my house. Blood? Well, let me tell you if Dracula was hiding out here, he never would have gone hungry. I had to administer first aid. I locked out the step for him so he doesn't do it again. My life - caring for the infirm and slightly insane. Needless to say there went my walk.

This place has Spanish Moss everywhere. Its kinda of spooky, looks like the trees are dripping stuff, don't even want to know what trees drip, know what I mean? I even saw what I think was a Spanish Moss gremlin. I was real careful sneaking up on him, because there is no telling what a Spanish Moss Gremlin can do. It played dead, but I'm not so sure. I smelled breath – phew, breath mints anyone.

We met a neighbor who came just before we left. His name was Robert, I liked him. He came down with his dad to go fishing. His dad was 87, so Robert was no spring chicken himself. He asked Tom if he liked to fish, when Tom told him he did – I think he was trying to get us a ride in Robert's boat, Robert got happy and asked Tom what kind of fishing gear he used. Well I think Tom blew it, he said he prefered a club. When Robert looked confused cause he never heard of that kind of brand, Tom told him, yeah, he liked to stand in the middle of a stream and club the fish when they swam by, he was more successful that way and didn't need any bait. Needless to say, Robert stopped asking Tom questions, he also didn't offer us a ride in his boat.

That night as I was putting on my pajamas, there was a knock on our door. Hello, we are in the middle of nowhere and someone is knocking on our door at night. I immediately picked up one of my particularly sharp chew toys just in case. In case it was that Spanish Moss Gremlin. If it was Dracula Tom could deal with him.

Well it was Robert, he forgot to tell us about the Coyotes that come around at night, said they might gang up on me. I thanked him but told him not to worry cause I'm fast and I'll just trip the guy with the bad bleeding leg, I hear Coyotes are attracted to blood. Gators, Coyotes, and Spanish Moss Gremlins, what's next.

Well I found out what's more the next day.. I'm strolling along on the look out for gators and yikes! Those are some big damn birds and a lot of them too. They must weight half as much as I do. Tom told me they were turkey vultures. Pretty nasty things. Wonder how they would taste with a side of cranberry and some sweet potatoes. Bet they hide out on Thanksgiving.

The ranger lady at the little store liked me. Said I could ignore the no pets allowed inside cause I'm cute as heck. So while Tom is looking around the little store, this nice ranger asked him if it was okay if she gave me some ice cream. Don't blow this one Tom, I'm warning you. I got a strawberry shortcake ice cream on a stick – oh so good. Unfortunately the ranger lady was married she was also kinda old, cause I was going to take her home with me, well if she came with ice cream I was.

So we walked all over the place. Big and empty the place was too. Robert sort of avoided us after Tom's club comment, so did his dad. People began to show up Friday night, but we was leaving in the morning so they can deal with them gators, coyotes and vultures oh my.

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